Duck Duck Cougar?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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