I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
