All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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