i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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