Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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