How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
