New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
