is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
