Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
