dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
