the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
