i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
