Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
