u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
