There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
