based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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