if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I supernannyed him into submission
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