i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
