this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Green mimosas i think yes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
