does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
