Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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