You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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