Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
