can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
