capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize