I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
