the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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