I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
