SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
someone owes me an orgasm
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
