Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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