Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize