first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
