he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
