I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
