Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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