Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
