There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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