I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize