i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
