I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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