I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
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I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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