I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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