Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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