i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
