Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
