First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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