Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
