I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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