Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
