i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
