we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
