There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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