ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
