I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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