Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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