Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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