In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
