hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You smell like stripper and shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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