I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
