As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
