If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
