it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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